This is a book about me Unfortunately, I didn't write it - my mum did WTF! Let me tell you now that 98% of it is total lies Actually, I'm pretty sure this book is illegal So if you've bought it, you've basically supported a criminal How does that feel? I think she's getting me back for my first day in this world when I mayyy have tried to kill her She won't not be able to mention that You might also find out about my first day at school, why my head is so massive, how I've always been a hit with the ladies and other things like that You know, important stuff Anyway, I found the book at the printer and you'll see I've corrected some of her most outrageous lies So, you know, enjoy Just remember only the bits that make me look good are true